*getting stood up

Although (believe it or not, fan club members) I was never the girl whom everyone wanted to date in high school or college (those years are by far the hardest dating years, I think). I never got stood up. I just didn't really think stuff like that happened anymore.

I would like to think that anyone that I could be potentially *meeting* anywhere--to the point where they could have the opportunity to stand me up--would have at least enough manners to refrain from that ever even being a consideration.

A simple text, phone call or even email would come way before a no show at all. Come on its, 2007. Its not like we are using the Pony Express for communication.

So here I am...sigh. 26 years old and off with my roommate to go meet one of our friends at his apartment for his birthday.

We've never been to said friend's apartment prior, but we've definitely known him for over a year, we see him weekly, we patronize his restaurant like crazy, and he texted/emailed/blackberried (one in the same, right?) inviting us. So we show up at the address: 149 Rivington Street.

Hmmm..there are 3 apartments, the gate is locked, graffiti like woah, no buzzer and so we figure out that we have to call (rocket science, I know) to get in.

Only...we dont have his #, just his email. (Come on it is 2007 you don't have to have phone #s, phone calls and convos are annoying anyways). So we write him and tell him we're there and ask him to call us and tell us how to get in.

1 hour and 15 minutes and 3 texts (spaced out of course later) and no reply.

He's stood us up.

I honestly can't even tell you now how I feel. It wasn't a date, it was a friendship which seems to make this whole scenario even worse. I don't think I've been this upset since my last major breakup....and even then I didn't feel as shitty about myself as I do now.

How did I ever get to this place in my life where I am choosing to have friends that I get into situations like this where I just get hosed by a random? How could I ever even give the time of day to someone who obviously doesn't respect me as a friend? What is it about me that makes me not worthy of this jerkoff's friendship?

These are the questions running through my mind.

Am I overanalyzing this....? Totally. Of course. At the end of the day, it is no big deal. But right now, at 11:58 p.m. it hurts. It is a huge shot to the ego and more than that, it is just a huge disappointment.

I am a HUGE believer that this is what people do--they are human, and they let you down.

But this guy has manners, he was raised very well...he knows better. This shot--it was intentional. So why?

Worst part--we eat at his restaurant, every sunday. So now what? Self preservation mode has kicked in.

Aggghhh...what a f-ing night.