my sister and i.

So I have arrived in Asheville. Woohoo. I am reunited with my sis [photo of us during her nyc visit in noviembre at left at rockettes]. So great to see her. She is still tiny, somewhat bitchy, but overall a great kid. In general, it feels good to be home and still so nervous and scared. Coming home here is always interesting because it isn't the house I grew up in---I've actually never lived here--so I am like 50% at home and yet some part of me still feels like this just isn't really my home. Maybe New York actually is?

Maybe my love affair with the city of new york has actually turned into a full fledged relationship.

I think I might get to see the guy with whom I need to say what I need to say tonight, like in a couple of hours. It seems like he doesn't really want to see me...but then again, would I? I probably wouldn't even be accepting his calls if the roles were reversed. I hope that I can get out everything that I want to say, I hope he has an open mind, I hope maybe what should have happened when I am 18 might finally happen. Maybe I can drive around in another circle....and actually arrive at a destination.

So many maybes....

xoxo